Scribble and Scrabble

As penned by Gabby and Danielle while they were bored over Thanksgiving.

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Happy holidays, friends! It has been a busy, busy year in the Montgomery-Honecker-Lute household from January of 2013 to December of 2013! So many exciting things have been happening for the whole family (Ken, Leslie, Heather and Andy, Gabrielle, Justin and Kate, Danielle, Christopher and Sadie) in the last twelve months. Let’s take a quick minute to explore their lives.

Heather and Andy were so excited to welcome a new addition to their family this summer… TWINS!!!! Little Cassper and baby Melidy. Wow. The brother really likes them too. What a joy. Andy and the family are currently enjoying the benefits from Andy’s recent invention of the Toilet Tooter, a toilet that makes farting sounds when you flush it. Heather, with the help of the little ones pulling her around the back yard on a plastic sled, is continuing training for the 2014 Iditarod. Wish her luck!

Gabrielle’s family has also expanded to five fur-babies! She now has little Marilyn, Macey, Marigold, Magnolia, and Marge. She is leaving her current career and pursuing a job as a professional pyro-technician. As always, she is enjoying pursuing hobbies in extreme hang gliding and scrap metal collecting.

Justin and Kate finally tied the knot after only twenty-five years of dating. Slow down there, tiger! Ha. Ha. Ha. Now they are living together on a cattle ranch in Northern Lockport and hoping to start a bed and breakfast early next year that will be stocked solely by using duplicate gifts from their wedding.

Danielle is currently dating an 87-year-old man that she met in rehab after the “accident.” As we all assumed, he is loaded. Go, Danielle! Got to pay off those student loans somehow. Her online business making custom pet toys from recycled cat fur is a CATastrophic success. Be sure to PURRchase her goods online at www.http://www.moderncat.net/2009/07/29/the-ultimate-recycled-cat-toy-customized-hairballs/

Christopher is well on his way to becoming the first rabbi/gangsta rapper that the United States has ever seen. A bump in his plans did momentarily occur when his school was hit with the biggest outbreak of feline aids in 200 years (OY!!) and he was forced to live in a nudist colony. I would like to see any sneaky, aids ridden cats try to get into that place. After much ado, his first single will drop in February 2014 “Shalom my homies” feat. Michael Bolton, Sophia Grace & Rosie from the Ellen show.

Ken has left his career with the military to pursue his lifelong dream of modeling. He is attending the Tyra Banks school of “smizing and working it” in New York City. He will be receiving his certificate in mid-2014 and already has a gig lined up with Pixar working as a body-double for Kenny the minion in the much anticipated 2016 live-action release of “Dispicable Me.”

Leslie has quit her job, in anticipation of Ken’s modeling money flowing in soon. With all the kids gone, she is focusing her energy opening Massachusetts’ first groundhog sanctuary and homeless groundhog life-skills training center. It is a 3,000 acre complex that focuses on getting struggling groundhogs back on their feet and back in their holes. She doesn’t ask for praise, recognition, or even approval, she just asks that you spread the word about the growing homeless groundhog epidemic in the continental United States.

As you can see, we have had a very busy, busy year. In closing, as the rapping rabbi always says, “Ho, ho, ho my homies.”

Love and Santa-kisses from the Montgomery-Honecker-Lutes